What You Won’t Watch: September 7, 2011

Here’s a quick look at the sports programming for Wednesday that you’ll miss because you were too busy watching the same thing as everyone else (all times Pacific):

Two people with better cheekbones than you attempt to play football.

Madden NFL 12 Pigskin Pro-Am (7 p.m., Versus): A flag football game featuring former NFL greats and random celebrities. Worth watching for three reasons:

– At any pro-am sporting event, there’s one celebrity who takes it way too seriously and tries to prove that he could have played D1 (insert name of sport here) if he wasn’t concentrating on his acting/singing/modeling career. For previous examples, please refer to any Rock ‘n’ Jock event on MTV in the 1990s involving Dan Cortese or Jaleel White.

– Conversely, it’s always fun to see which celebrities have never played football before and are just there because their agent said it would be “good to connect with the 18-35 male demo.” These are the players that are hoping a ball doesn’t accidentally get passed to them, since they are likely to have it go through their hands and damage their pretty faces.

– There’s always a chance that Dan Marino will snap when Turtle from “Entourage” runs a bad route and punch him in the face. He’s a very angry man.

Progressive Bass (6:30 a.m., Versus): Unfortunately, this is not an instructional video featuring Geddy Lee, but “highlights of bass fishing tournaments across the Southern states.” Based on its geography, it’s shocking the show isn’t named “Commie, Obamacare-Loving Bass Who Hate America.”

Classic Boxing from 2001 – Ray Oliveira vs. Ben Tackie (4 p.m., ESPN Classic): SPOILER ALERT – I won’t tell you who wins, but make sure you watch after the final bell for when Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring. Let’s just say I hope Ben Tackie is hungry for a Stone Cold Stunner!

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3 Comments

Filed under What You Won't Watch

3 responses to “What You Won’t Watch: September 7, 2011

  1. Sanchez

    I was actually looking for Rush lyrics but that was kinda hilarious. Thanks.

  2. Hoob

    Kudos for involving the Super Bowl and Dan Cortese in the same post.

  3. ScoJo

    I shouldn’t be allowed to comment, but good work Richard this made me chuckle. And I was in a MEETING. At WORK.

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