Again, logging onto my fantasy football page. A smaller man would be insulted.
I write for a sizable TV network. In my younger days, writing for a local TV station, one of my responsibilities was to write those words the announcer says during the credits. You know, “What’s that smell? It’s trash day in Spin City! Check it out tonight at 10!” My crowning achievement was sneaking “Toss your salad” into Frasier promos (twice!) that ran during the credits of the Wayan’s Brothers. Usually, we’d try to be topical and current – on Sundays for example, we’d usually reference that weeks Chiefs game. On election day 2000, I wrote, “Unless you’re stupid, don’t forget to vote!” It did not go over well (and a quick trip through the Yahoo or YouTube comments section should prove that my advice went unheeded).
My boss called me into his office about 22 seconds after it went on the air (because HIS boss called him from HER office about 6 seconds after). My defense was, “I didn’t call anyone stupid, I was just saying if your ARE stupid, you shouldn’t vote.” I figured the entire audience would feel “in” on the joke. He told me that some people might not consider themselves very smart and others might consider that a very pompous statement on our station’s behalf, as if WE know better than our dumb ol’ audience members (Especially folks watching “Judge Mathis” at 3pm on a weekday). Point taken. Don’t insult your audience.
That was only 12 years ago, so maybe things are different now. I work in kids TV, so my rules are a little different. That was the “Pre 9/11 World” after all. Maybe we’re edgier, more experimental and breaking new ground. How about one of these instead:
– Our discounts go deep!
– Your backup QB since 1937. (Progressive skews a little younger, focusing on discounts so I can’t totally picture them doing a legacy sell.)
– ADD: Sensational Coverage DROP: About 30%. You guys know what I’m talkin’ about.
– Protecting your blindside (Admittedly more of an Allstate line)
– Covering you like Ed Reed.
– Because you drafted the Saints defense…
– First down, you! (Classic goofy Flo line, come on.)
Those aren’t all game-winning lines, but hey, we don’t judge in brainstorming. The whole Progressive fantasy football campaign wouldn’t stop me from buying their insurance, but I think they can do better.